My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize