I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have fence marks all over my body
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize