New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
its liver damage thursday
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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