Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
