If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
