I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
