I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize