she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
