I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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