this beer tastes like vomit already
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
