Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
