How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
