He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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