Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.