I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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