porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
