thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
