Just fell off a train. Bad.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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