That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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