you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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