I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
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She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
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You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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