I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
