Duck Duck Cougar?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
