I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize