at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
