My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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