Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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