He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
