she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
