He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
