Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize