My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
