i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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