What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize