i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize