Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
