I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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