I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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