never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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