OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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