your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
