you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
