Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
worst night to have a conscience
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
