a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
too bad you live with your parents still
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
