A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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