I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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