The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
