I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
