Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato