if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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