fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.