you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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