They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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