My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
