I think i peed on brittanys purse
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
