Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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