I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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