Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
