At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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