this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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