im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
