She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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